Him: They have a really hot asian bassist.
Her: You know, I don't need to know every time you think a girl is hot.
In her head she was thinking, especially when that girl is super-hot and talented and looks nothing like me.
Him: Just because I think she's hot, doesn't mean I think she's hotter than you.
Her: I have insecurities that go way back. Way back to an ex-boyfriend who would point out all the flaws in strangers on the street. Tell me he thought so-and-so was fat, or so-and-so was ugly. Girls that look like me. Girls that weren't fat, and girls that definitely weren't ugly. So I'm weird around girls now in general. It takes a while for me to not constantly compare myself, even to strangers.
Him: So does it bother you that I have a lot of girl friends?
Her: No. Well, just one of them bothers me.
Him: Which one.
Her: I don't want to talk about this right now.
There was silence for a few seconds. Then she blurted out the name without even looking at him, staring down at the food she was pushing around on her plate.
Him: I figured it was her.
Her: I just remember that when you and I were first starting to date, you were telling me that you and her had always been attracted to each other, but one of you always had a significant other, so nothing ever happened. And I know she's a freak in bed, and all that other stuff that guys fantasize about. And plus, she's hot.
Him: She's not really hot... But I do remember now that she got all weird when she first met you.
Sometimes, girl friends can be more intimidating than the ex he dated for 5 years. I am a strong advocate that at some point in a "friendship" with the opposite sex, someone always wants more. Even if it's something small, like a drunken night with the beer goggles that leaves you thinking the next morning, "Why the hell did I confess I wanted to have his children?!"
I'm not saying that men and women can't be friends without wanting to rip each others clothes off. But I have never been friends with a male where the idea of "something more" hasn't crossed my mind at least once and in most cases, for only a second. And then reality kicks in and I remember why he is just a friend in the first place. Sometimes it takes a little more, like a kiss. And then you're all "Whoa! Yeah, totally can't go there!" and you never speak of it again. Other times, you might take the full-on dating train and either end up with a very awkward break up, or be one of the ones who literally married their best friend.
What is so intimidating about girl friends is the idea of the unknown. Ex's are no big deal to me. There is obviously a reason why she is an ex, so there's no threat really. Been there, done that. Girl friends are uncharted territory. And in the case of the girl friends who are super hot, or really smart, or freaks in bed, the possibilities are endless. And also, because I know that at some point over the course of friendship, one or both of the parties has or will want more, even if its only for a moment. And it's even harder to swallow when you find out that friend is a cute red-head he pursued his entire 4 years of college, despite the fact that she repeatedly turned him down. And then he sent an e-mail professing his love for her while you were out of town one weekend. But I digress...
I realize that there are two types of girls in the eyes of men. There's the girl who is the girlfriend. The girl who has long term potential. The girl you take home to mom and buy a ring for. Then there is the girl who is the girl friend. The girl that maybe you hooked up with once a few years ago after too much tequila. The girl that has her nipples pierced. The girl who you just take home and won't even buy breakfast for the next morning. I have always been the girlfriend. When being single, I think I tried to be the girl friend but I was never that hard core. I even failed at a one-night stand, and turned it into a 2 year relationship. Face it, I think we have all wanted to be that girl at some point. No holds barred, having strangers take shots off our chest and know that when we walk away, they are looking at our ass picturing what we look like naked. Granted, we would never admit that. I'm admitting it. I used to wonder what it was like to be a slut, and sometimes I'd be jealous of the girls who could pull it off. Every girl wants to be the girl that he thinks about when he's having sex with someone else, to be the best he's ever had. To be the one that got away.
But, it's good to be in love. And to be in a relationship that, despite all the lures of the girl friend, still brings him home to you with a smile on his face. Which is what he's wanted all along. Slow dancing in PJ's and kisses on the forehead last a lot longer than the hang over you accumulated with the suave talker that one night in Vegas.